Pokemon Misadventures: The Red, Green, and Blue Saga
by Project Deathstar
Summary: The pokemon world is a wacky place. Join Red as he journeys through Kanto and deals with wannabe ninjas, incompetent villainous organizations, mischevious Bulbasaurs, and pokemon professors with ulterior motives... Red's POV
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Misadventure Begins

All I wanted to do was just go on a walk.

I have a rather enjoyable routine in the morning. I get up, get dressed, check my email, go downstairs and talk to my mom for a little bit, and then go for a walk along Route 1. I like to admire the Pidgeys singing and play with the Rattatta. This pastime has gone undisturbed for the past five years. That is, until the day after my tenth birthday.

I was about to step onto the path leading to Route 1, right outside of Pallet Town, when all of a sudden, _he_ came up behind me.

"Why hello there, Red."

I turned around to see an old man behind me. He wore a lab coat, so I figured he must be some kind of scientist. But I don't trust scientists. And this guy staring me down with a creepy grin was reinforcing that mistrust.

"...Do I know you?" I ask uncertainly.

The old man laughed. "Why, I'm Oak, the pokemon professor!"

I nodded slowly and uncertainly. "...Ok, cool."

I turned back to the path and was about to proceed, but I felt a hand hold me back.

"Wait, you can't go! Wild pokemon will attack you!"

I couldn't help but scoff. "What are you talking about, I walk this way all the time."

Oak didn't listen.

"Come with me. You need a pokemon to protect yourself."

This piqued my interest. A pokemon? I always wanted one, but I wasn't old enough until now. And this guy was offering to give me a free one. It looked like today was my lucky day.

I followed Oak back to the lab, and when he led me in, the first thing I noticed was that there was another kid already there, waiting beside a table with three pokeballs resting on it, arms crossed.

"Red, this is my grandson," Oak said. "Er..."

"... You seriously don't remember my name?" the boy glowered.

"Of course I do, its... um...uh..."

I felt a little awkward just standing there while the professor was just standing there trying to remember the name of his own grandson.

"...Gary?" Oak guessed.

"No."

"Shigeru?"

"No."

"...Betty?"

"Green!" the boy shouted. "My name is Green!"

"Oh, I remember now!" Oak exclaimed, snapping his fingers. "It's Obidiah, isn't it?"

I noticed Green's left eye twitching. "Just give me my pokemon, Gramps."

"Now, now, be paitent Tony," Oak said. "Red gets to go first."

Green looked over at me in disbelief, as if he just noticed I was in the room. Jerk.

"Why him?"

Oak glanced at Green in confusion. "Who are you again?"

Green growled in frustration. "Fine, go on ahead, Red is it?"

I nodded and walked over to the table. In front of each pokeball, there was a name and description. Luckily, the tops of the pokeballs were transparent when one was close enough to them, so I could get a better idea of which one I wanted. I started with a pokemon that looked like a dinosaur and had a green bulb on its back.

_Bulbasaur, the Seed pokemon_

I looked over at the next ball, which had a small blue turtle in it.

_Squirtle, the Tiny Turtle pokemon_

Finally, I looked over at the last ball, which held a bipedal orange lizard with a flame at the end of its tail.

_Charmander, the Lizard pokemon_

"Can I have all of them?" I asked.

They all looked like really good pokemon, plus having all three on my team can help me out in spots that require a type advantage.

"No, I'm afraid you can only choose one," Oak said.

Dang it.

Well, time to do this the old fashioned way.

"Eienie, meeney, miney, moe," I said in a singsong manner as I moved my pointer finger back and forth. "Catch a Persian, by its toe. If it hollers, let it go. My mom says to pick the very best one and you. Are. It."

My finger lands on the first pokemon, Bulbasaur. I pick up the pokeball and show it to Professor Oak.

"Ah, good choice Red!" he exclaimed excitedly. "Now its your turn, Fabio."

Green rolled his eyes and walked over to the table and studied the remaining two options.

"Which one's more complicated to train?" he asked no one in particular.

"Hmm," Oak pondered. "Well, they both have their advantages and disadvantages, but Charmander's potential may take the longest to unlock."

Green shrugged and grabbed Charmander's pokeball.

"I like a good challenge."

"In that case, how would you like to have a quick battle?" I challenged, eager to test out Bulbasaur's strength.

Green laughed. "I have a type advantage, you dolt. You'd surely lose."

Red shrugged. "It's not like they know any moves other than scratch, tackle and leer. Right, doc?"

"Um..." Oak hesitated.

That didn't sound good.

Oh well, I'm about to have my first pokemon battle! How awesome is that?

I grinned and tipped my baseball cap as a sign of respect to my foe. Then, I readied the pokeball.

"Bulbasaur, go!"

I launched the pokeball into the air, and out came Bulbasaur, looking around in curiosity. Must've been his first time out of the ball in the lab.

Green smirked. "Charmander!"

He threw his own ball, and in a flash of light, Charmander was out, looking just as curious as Bulbasaur.

"Bulbasaur, use tackle!"

"Charmander, scratch!"

The pokemon gave confused looks at us, then faced eachother.

"Saur?"

Charmander shrugged. "Char."

I raised an eyebrow. Where they talking to eachother?

Then, before I knew it, I felt my waist tighten. I look down to see vines wrapped around me, leading back to a smirking Bulbasaur.

It was using vine whip on me!

I looked over to see Green laughing. Then, to my satisfaction, Charmander turned on him and spat a stream of flame at him, leaving him singed.

To say Green looked ticked was an understatement.

"Why you little-" Green growled.

Charmander laughed as Green started chasing the Lizard pokemon around the lab. I started laughing then, but my laughter turned to shouts of pain as Bulbasaur started to bang me against the ground with his vines.

"Ow! Stop it! Let me-ow-go!"

I could hear Oak laughing as I kept going up and down, face first into the marble floor repeatedly.

"And what-ow-is so-ow- funny-ow!?" I grunted in annoyance.

"It looks like these pokemon will need to take longer to get used to you than I thought," he gasped. "Oh, that reminds me!"

I heard him scamper off to the back of the lab. Bulbasaur stopped beating me and looked over to see what the professor was doing. I took this opprotunity to reach for Bulbasaur's pokeball.

"Bulbasaur, return!"

A red laser came from the pokeball, hit Bulbasaur, and took him (I think its a him), back with it into the pokeball. I landed with a thud on the ground and looked up to see Green still chasing his pokemon.

"Come back here you traitor!" Green spat.

Charmander stuck its toungue out at its trainer, and at that moment it looked like Green gained some common sense, because he got out his pokeball and simply had Charmander return to it. To my suprise, he began chuckling.

"These little guys sure are a handful," Green said.

"Hopefully they'll be easier once they're out to see the world and meet other pokemon," I suggested.

Just then, I heard a door crash open and Green and I turn our heads to see Oak stepping over the broken down door, holding two strange devices.

"This is the pokedex, my personal invention!" Oak said with excitement. "I made it to record an encyclopedia of every pokemon in the region."

I gave Oak a skeptical look. "Only in the region? You mean you made a pokedex that can only record 149 pokemon?"

"Yeah," Green agreed. "Shouldn't you have made a pokedex to accomodate the pokemon in other regions like Johto and Hoenn as well?"

"...Shut up and take them."

I shrugged and took a device. Green did the same.

Oak sighed. "To complete the pokedex. That was my dream when I was younger. But I've grown much to old."

"You look like you're only in your mid-fifties," I pointed out.

Oak ignored me. "That's why I need you two to go across the Kanto region and gather as much pokemon information as you can, preferably through capturing them."

I looked over at Green, who looked absolutely bewildered.

"So, let me get this straight," Green started. "You're going to send out two ten year old boys into the wild, with nothing except our starter pokemon and the clothes on our back, to capture every wild pokemon in the region with powers that could _**easily kill us**_, instead of sending the more mature and experienced adult assistants of yours to accomplish this?!"

I looked around the lab to see Oak's said assistants looking sheepish and shuffling their feet.

"Yep." Oak replied shamelessly.

I noticed that the twitch in Green's eye was back.

"Are you even going to supply us with pokeballs?" Green breathed venomously.

His grandfather merely laughed.

"No, silly Marth. That would be smart. You'll just have to get some in Viridian City."

Green growled in frustration and stomped towards the door.

"Fine! I don't need you to hold my hand anyway! Smell ya later, Gramps!"

And with a slam of the door, I was left in the lab with the pokemon professor. I shuffled my feet.

"So... how long is the walk to Viridian?" I asked, desperate to break the silence.

"Until nightfall," Oak said nonchalantly.

I glared at the pokemon professor, then sighed and went out the door.

"I despise you," I muttered under my breath as I walked off to take care of a few things before I left.

My journey has begun. Arceus help me.

**A/N: And so, Red's story begins! This is intended to be a parody that incorporates elements mostly from the games and the manga (such as pokemon teams), but also some elements from the anime. Also, I just want to make it clear that I do NOT hate Professor Oak. There's just alot of character quirks from the games and other sources that I can't ignore and just have to exaggerate, such as his tendency to forget his grandson's name every few seconds (come on, a man asking you to name his grandson for him is just asking for this) :)**

**Will Red succeed in his journey? Who will he meet and what pokemon will he encounter next?**

**Read and review to find out!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: On the Road

Day 1 of my journey has begun.

And if the rest of my journey is like this, I swear to Arceus, as soon as I gey back to Pallet Town, I'm going to throttle that so-called professor.

Here's how it started:

After saying goodbye to my mother and getting a Town Map from Green's smoking hot sister, Daisy, (I think she thinks I'm cute), I set off back to the beginning of Route 1. After getting to the top of the hill overlooking the town, I called out my new Bulbasaur from his ball.

The pokemon looked up at me with a look of distrust.

"Hey," I started, trying to sound cheerful and to not give the pokemon a reason to start attacking me again. "I think you and I got off on the wrong foot. I'm Red."

I held out my hand, expecting the Bulbasaur to shake it with one of his vines. He just continued to stare at me.

I sighed. "Look, you and I are going to be traveling together for a while, so we should at least _try_ to be on decent terms, don't you think?"

Bulbasaur grunted and turned his head away. What was this guy's deal?

I shuffled through my bag for the pokedex. Maybe it can give me a little more info on how to deal with Bulbasaur.

I opened the encyclopedia and, lucky for me, Bulbasaur's entry happened to be the first one:

_A strange seed was planted on its back at birth. The plant sprouts and grows with this Pokémon._

Well that's completely unhelpful.

Seriously? That's it? No details about its behavior, no training tips, just those two stupid sentences? Okay, sure, it also has the size, cry, and location of where to find it, but that stuff is relatively unimportant compared to what I need to know when it comes to training it!

Oak, you... ugh!

I closed the piece of junk and stuffed it back into my bag.

"I don't know about you," I told Bulbasaur. "But I want to see what lies beyond the little town I grew up in, and I think you want to see the world instead of being couped up in that lab all the time. If you want to come with me, fine, but I'm not going to force you to."

I turned to continue walking. After a few steps, I turned my head to see Bulbasaur following behind me, with the curious look from the lab once again occupying his face.

"So, you're willing to put up with me?" I asked.

Bulbasaur nodded.

I smiled. "Okay, then lets go!"

"Saur!" Bulbasaur grunted in agreement.

As soon as I turned to walk though, I feel myself being lifted up by my underwear. I yelped as the underwear rode up my... yeah, you get it.

I heard Bulbasaur laugh behind me.

So much for the start of a beautiful friendship.

After going through Route 1 and leveling up Saur (that's what I'm calling him now) by having him knock out every Rattatta and Pidgey I saw, I finally made it to Viridian City.

I looked down at Saur and noticed how he was practically out of breath and covered in bruises from the various fights he went through.

"You okay?" I asked.

Saur merely glared at me, as if saying, "Do I _look_ okay to you?"

I waved my hands. "Okay, okay, no need for that, lets just find you a pokemon center and get you healed."

So after searching through the city, I finally found the pokemon center, and called Saur back into his ball. I walked in and up to the counter to speak to the nurse.

"Welcome to the Pokemon Center. Would you like us to heal your pokemon?"

"Yes please," I responded.

She took Saur's ball and placed it on the healing machine. After a few seconds, she handed me back the ball.

"Thank you. Be sure to come back here whenever your pokemon is tired."

I gave the nurse a smile before heading towards the door, but before I got there, my attention was brought to something in the waiting area. I walked up to the wall with one of my brows raised.

It was a poster, decorated with various type symbols and labeled:

**Do you have what it takes to become a champion? **

**Then enter the Pokemon League!**

**Challenge the eight gyms of Kanto to recieve eight different badges, **

**Then, make your way through a tournament in Victory Road all the way to Indigo Plateau, **

**Where you can challenge the Elite Four, **

**And become known as a Pokemon Master!**

As I read all the registration requirements, I grinned and let Saur out of his ball so he could see.

"What do you think?" I asked him. "Do you think we could do it?"

I wasn't sure if pokemon could read, but as I watched Saur observe the poster, a determined spark lit in his red eyes. He nodded and nudged my leg.

"I'll take that as a yes," I chuckled.

"You're going for the Pokemon League?"

I turned to discover the voice belonged to Green, arms crossed and his Charmander sitting on his shoulder, flame tipped tail swishing excitedly.

I'm suprised Green's hair hadn't caught fire yet.

"Yeah," I confirmed. "It looks interesting."

"Well the registration is at the front desk," Green said.

I nodded and went up to the desk to start filling out registration papers. I felt Green show up next to me and start doing the same.

"Do you think you can become the champion?" Green said as he filled out his name and age.

I shrugged as I filled the space asking what my starter pokemon is. "I don't know. But I think if I try hard enough, anything could be possible."

"Well don't bother trying too hard."

I froze. Dropping my pen on the desk, I turned to face Green, who had a very punchable smirk on his face.

"What do you mean by that?"

Green shrugged. "I just figured that since I am obviously the superior trainer, you probably shouldn't be too suprised when its clear that I will become the champion instead of you."

I couldn't help but laugh. Green's smirk faded and was replaced by a frown.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"You? A superior trainer?" I breathed. "We just started our journey a few hours ago!"

"Well..." Green started. "While you haven't even gotten any pokeballs yet, I managed to capture five pokemon already!"

He lifted his shirt to show six pokeballs already on his belt. I continued to laugh regardless.

"Oh wow, you've really showed me!" I said sarcastically. "Let me guess, considering the options available around Pallet Town, you've caught two Rattatas, a Pidgey, a Caterpie, and a Weedle."

"N-no," Green stuttered. "I- I- shut up!"

He then reached into his bag and shoved five pokeballs into my arms.

"Let's see if you can do better!"

I smirked as I filled out the rest of the League forms and walked outside with the pokeballs. I headed out towards the pond at the edge of Route 22, with a glowering Green stomping after me.

I scanned the enviornment and waited. Then, I finally saw something;

Right at the edge of the pond was a Poliwag, leaned over and taking a drink.

I turned my cap and sent out Saur.

"Saur, use Stun Spore!" I commanded.

Saur grunted and launched the attack from his bulb, hitting the Poliwag head on. When I was sure that the pokemon was paralyzed, I readied the ball and launched it, bending my knees as I saw the ball ensnare Poliwag and land on the ground, shaking.

One...

Two...

Three...

_click!_

"Alright!" I cheered as the pokeball came back to me. "Saur, we caught our first pokemon!"

I held the ball to Saur, who sniffed it and smiled, probably excited about having a new friend.

Green was sweating. "Well... that's only one pokemon! I bet you can't catch anything else!"

Five minutes later, I proved Green wrong by catching a Mankey, a Spearow, and a male and female Nidoran.

I spun my most recent capture on my right pointer finger and gave my rival a smirk.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" I said, cupping my other hand around an ear. "I couldn't hear you over the sound of me completely and utterly dominating you in pokemon catching."

I fowned as I noticed that Green's eyes began to water. Was he seriously crying?

"Are you okay, man?" I asked, actually concerned. "I didn't mean to-"

"Shut up!" Green shouted, tears running down his face. "I-I'll show you! I'm going to assemble a team of the most powerful pokemon I can find, and I'm gonna kick your butt and become the champion! You'll see! You'll all see! Maybe then, Gramps will finally remember my name!"

Green then ran off bawling, with his Charmander falling off his shoulder in the process. The lizard pokemon sighed and ran off to catch up with his trainer.

Now I feel bad. I didn't mean to destroy the kid's self confidence. I just wanted to show him what I was capable of. Maybe I can apologize the next time I see him.

Which, let's be honest, won't take that long.

After dropping off some of my new pokemon into the PC, healing up the Poliwag I decided to take with me, and buying some more pokeballs at the Pokemart, I was on my way to the Viridian forest, with my new friends beside me. I felt invincible, ready to take on whatever stood in my way of becoming the champion.

...Yeah... when I said I was ready to take on anything, I didn't count on the armies of Beedrill and Spearow out for my blood.

Apparently, a Beedrill thought it could get some pollen out from Saur's bulb. This of course, freaked him out, causing him to fire bullet seed at the Beedrill, knocking it out.

The other Beedrill, as you can imagine, took exception to that.

I screamed as Saur, Poli, and I ran as fast as we could through the forest, knocking down every trainer that tried to challenge us and left them to be stung by the furious insect pokemon. We finally managed to evade them by jumping into a hollow tree trunk.

"That was a close one," I breathed to my friends.

It was then I felt something nudge against my leg.

"Saur? Poli? Which one of you did that?"

The nudge was on my right leg, while Saur and Poli were on my left. I turned my head to the right, bracing myself for the worst.

"Pi-ka-chu!"

I quirked a brow.

It was a Pikachu. Do I really need to describe it? Its one of the most well known pokemon in the world, I highly doubt there's anyone within a fifteen meter radius that doesn't know what a Pikachu looks like.

I smiled as it continued to nudge against me.

"Hey little guy," I whispered, reaching out to pet it.

Unfortunately, the electric mouse seemed to not like being pet (yet it absolutely LOVES nudging against people), because with a deep frown, it let out an electric shock, and shocked me and my other two pokemon.

Poli took the worst brunt of it, considering that he's at a type disadvantage, but Saur recovered quickly and glared at the rodent.

"Saur..." I treaded.

Saur then tackled Pikachu out of the tree trunk, the latter landing with a thud onto the forest floor.

I crawled out of the trunk, cradling my injured Poliwag along the way, in time to see Pikachu's red cheeks charge up with electricity.

"Pikachu!" it shouted.

It unleashed a massive bolt of electricity at Saur, who managed to dodge it. The bolt went straight into the bushes, completely disinigrating them to reveal a flock of angry, singed, Spearow.

Pikachu had a sheepish and worried look on its face. It started to whistle and point a stubby finger at Saur, indicating that he was responsible for the damage.

Saur, looking completely indignant, was about to attack the Pikachu again, when the Spearow launched into the air, ready to exact their vengence.

"Guys, run!" I shouted.

My pokemon, plus Pikachu, heeded the order and ran away from the Spearow, me shortly behind. With the various gusts and pecks aimed at us, what could possibly make this situation any worse?

The Beedrill found us again and joined in the chase.

Pardon my French for a second:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

We managed to reach the edge of the forest, but it was a dead end, with a steep cliff overlooking Pewter City. There was no way we could climb down fast enough to escape the enraged pokemon.

I furrowed my brow. If it's a fight they want, it's a fight they'll get.

"You guys want a piece of me?" I shouted as I got in front of my pokemon and stretched my arms to protect them. "Come and get it!"

The Spearow and Beedrill dived for the kill.

Then, before I knew it, Pikachu, Saur, and Poli got in front of me.

Pikachu charged up lightning.

Saur's pod began to light up.

Poli was gurgling up as much water as possible.

All three of the small pokemon unleashed their most powerful attacks (well, at the time at least):

Thunder

Solarbeam

Hydro Pump

All three of these attacks connected with the oncoming hordes, resulting in an explosion that launched me over the cliff.

I managed to grab onto the edge, but I was slipping. I doubt I would make it.

Then, I felt a familiar tightening around my waist.

Saur was lifting me up, with Pikachu and Poli pulling him back!

I grinned as I was brought up, my feet touching the sturdy ground. The pokemon all cried with joy and launched themselves at me.

"Guys, guys!" I laughed.

I then observed the damage.

Trees were on fire. The ground was littered with the unconcious bodies of Spearow and Beedrill. I have a feeling that enviornmentalists would not be happy with me if they saw this.

Luckily, Poli unleashed another Hydro Pump to put out the flames.

"Looks like you guys can really pack a punch," I chuckled. "Now I know we can win the Pokemon League. You guys agree?"

They all cheered, including Pikachu.

"You want to come with us, Pika?" I asked.

'Pika' nodded excitedly and jumped onto my shoulder.

"Alright then, welcome to the team!"

I pulled out a pokeball and got Pika to go into it. Then I returned Saur and Poli to their balls before I started the long climb down to Pewter City.

Championship, here I come!

**And so, Red's journey continues as he challenges the Pokemon League! Can he get all eight badges? Will he discover more outrageous things about the pokemon world? Will Professor Oak ever remember Green's name? Find out next time, on Pokemon Misadventures!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: It's a Hard Rock Life

You know you're in for a good day when you wake up and the first thing you notice is a Pikachu's butt in your face.

I decided to take advantage of the hotel allowing Pokemon to be out of their pokeballs and let Saur, Poli, and Pika sleep wherever they wanted in the room. Saur slept in an armchair by the TV, Poli curled up on the spare pillow on my bed, and Pika was currently sleeping on my face.

I would just simply reach up and pluck him off, but I figured waking a sleeping Pikachu could be just as risky as waking a sleeping Gyarados.

Okay, maybe not _that_ risky, but I'd still like to avoid getting electrocuted.

Luckily, I heard Saur let out a yawn and plop down from the chair.

"Saur," I called out, slightly muffled by the sleeping rodent. "Can you help me out here?"

With that, Pika was lifted up off my face , allowing me to sit up and stretch my arms out. I watched with a smile as Saur gently laid the still sleeping Pika down on the end of the bed.

Not wanting to wake him or Poli, I quietly got out of bed and made my way over to the window, where I opened the curtains to get a good view of Pewter City in the morning.

My gaze shifted back and forth in an effort to find the Pewter City gym in the elaborate maze of buildings that made up the city. It was then that my attention was caught by a figure in a blue sweater accompanied by a Charmander, a Pidgey perched on his shoulder, a green bug type pokemon with curved blades for arms, and a small, muscular, humanoid pokemon with ridges on the top of its skull.

I knew who it was. I rushed down as fast as I could to the lobby, with Saur and my recently awoken pokemon following.

"Green!"

He turned as soon as he heard his name being shouted. As he watched me stop in front of him and my pokemon beginning to interact with his own, he smirked.

"Well well," he said. "If it isn't the self proclaimed pokemon master."

I looked over and watched as the pokemon all introduced themselves to eachother through their own language.

"You've been busy," I said.

Green put his hands in his pocket.

"Like my new additions? I caught Scyther,"

He pointed to the green bug type.

"On the outskirts of the city, and Machop,"

He pointed to the humanoid pokemon.

"Up in Mt. Moon."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Mt. Moon? I heard that the pokemon there were too powerful to control without the Boulder Badge."

"Well then," Green said as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a slim box. "I'm lucky that I have the Boulder Badge to get Machop to listen, aren't I?"

He opened the box to reveal a small, hexagonal silver badge.

My jaw dropped.

"When did you get that?" I breathed.

"Yesterday evening. I got a head start to reach here, remember? Yeah, Brock is pretty tough if you don't have pokemon effective against rock types, but Charmander and Scyther managed to pull through."

He eyed Saur and Poli. "It's a shame I didn't have Machop before the fight. Otherwise the battle would have been over in a breeze."

I smirked. "Well, I still have yet to challenge the gym, and I have _two _pokemon with a type advantage. I should have my first badge in a matter of seconds."

"Don't get too cocky, Red," Green warned.

I jumped back a little. Green's tone just shifted from arrogant to serious. It was kind of scary.

"Type advantages do help alot in a battle, but they're not the only factors you should rely on. You also need to have a sound strategy involving _all_ of your pokemon, including the ones you think won't have an advantage."

His gaze flickered to Pika, who seemed to be in an argument with the Machop.

"Tell you what, since I'm in a generous mood right now, I'll give you a little tip. Brock's most powerful pokemon is also his biggest. Try to find a way to use that against him."

I simply stared at my rival. Was this the same Green that was filled with frustration at his grandfather and was bragging about getting a badge before me mere seconds ago?

"Well," Green said as he recalled his pokemon and walked back over to the entrance. "Now that I'm done proving my superiority, I'll head on out to Cerulean City to get my second badge. Smell ya later!"

I continued to stare as he walked out. Great, now I can't decide whether to consider this guy a friend or enemy.

I shrugged and recalled my own pokemon. After a quick check through my bag, I walked out the door as well, ready to search for the gym.

I think I'm lost.

As I sat on the steps of the Pewter City Museum, I mentally cursed out whoever made the Town Map for not including maps of the town layouts and twirled an empty pokeball in my fingers.

I sighed and looked over my shoulder. Well, I guess I should check this place out as long as I'm here.

As I walked in, I noticed that the place was pretty packed. Toddlers were dragging their parents around, wanting to see every pokemon fossil the museum kept. Security guards were trying to keep said toddlers off of the exibits. Teens were hanging out in the cafeteria, no doubt bragging about the pokemon they've caught.

Surely someone here had to know where the gym is.

"You lost, kid?"

I turned to see a man with spiky brown hair and a deep tan. Wait, was he squinting? Why did his eyes look closed?

"I'm looking for the gym," I said.

The man smirked. "Of course you are. I can get you there."

I smiled. "Really? That'd be great..."

"But first I need you to run an errand for me."

I fell over. It seems like there's always a catch. First there was Oak and the pokemon, now it's this guy and the gym's location.

"Fine, what do you want?" I grumbled as I got back up.

The man scratched his chin. "What level are your pokemon?"

"My lowest is 8 and my highest is 10."

"Perfect," the man grinned. "You see, there's this group of thugs that's been harassing the town lately. Stealing people's pokemon, breaking into the museum at night to rummage through the fossil collection, the works. They call themselves Team Rocket."

I chuckled. "What kind of name is that?"

The man shrugged. "I don't know, but I think it would be a bad idea to let them continue running around. So, can you find them and teach them a lesson?"

"Now when you say, 'teach them a lesson'..."

"Just don't bloody them up too bad."

I grinned. "Don't worry, who-ever-you-are, I'll make sure those jerks pay for their crimes, for I am darkness. I am the night."

I struck a dramatic pose as I summoned a batman costume from nowhere.

"I AM BATMAN!"

I turned to see the man sweatdrop.

"...Whatever floats your boat," the man said.

I jumped out the door and onto the streets of the city, ready to pursue the criminal scum.

2 Hours Later...

What have I learned today? That it's probably not a good idea to run through the streets dressed as Batman. Because if you do, you can get arrested for causing a public disturbance.

And by public disturbance, I mean grabbing a random citizen, shoving him against the wall, and yelling at him with a growling, raspy voice to give up the location of Team Rocket.

Oh, what? Like you've never done it before.

I sat in the jail cell at the Pewter City Police Department with my three pokemon. Pika was playing "Nobody Knows the Trouble I See" on a harmonica, Poli was struggling in my arms after he tried to go for a swim in the toilet that looks like it hasn't been cleaned for decades, and Saur had his vines grip the cell bars, no doubt shouting in pokemon speak that he had his rights, and wanted his phone call.

As I was sitting there, thinking of an escape plan involving my pokemon, peanutbutter toast, and high heel boots, Officer Jenny (who I wouldn't mind reading _me_ my rights, if you know what I mean), came and opened the cell door.

"Your bail's been paid," she said. "You're free to go."

I stepped out of the cell, my pokemon following, to see the guy from the museum. The one that always had his eyes shut.

"There you are, Enrique! I've been looking all over for you!"

Wait. Enrique?

What?

"I'm terribly sorry about this, officer," the man said. "He's from the Hoenn region. There, it's publicly acceptable for him to pull the stunt he did. He's not quite used to the fact that our laws are kind of different."

"Tell me about it," Officer Jenny laughed. "A ten year old kid trying to take down a criminal organization while the police stand back and do nothing? That's just stupid."

"Well, what're you gonna do?" Squinty shrugged. "Come on Enrique, let's go get something to eat."

As he guided me out of the jail, I looked up at him incredulously.

"Enrique?"

"You're welcome," he dismissed. "So what do you want? It's on me."

I shaked my head. "No, no, I can't. You just bailed me out of jail."

"It's okay, man. Being the gym leader includes complimentary meals from every resturaunt in town."

I fell over again, but it was more painful this time as I slid down the steps. I have a feeling I would do this alot.

"You're Brock?!" I shouted as Brock helped me up back to my feet.

"Yup," he said casually. "So how does Mexican sound?"

"Why didn't you tell me who you were in the first place?"

Brock shrugged as he took a bite from his fajita.

"I wanted to test you before you challenged me. I do it to other kids too, including that other one from Pallet town."

"You mean Green?" I said as I cut up my enchiladas.

"Yeah, I made him go to Diglet Cave to help a friend of mine recover an Omanyte fossil. He actually mentioned you."

"What did he say?"

"That you were an arrogant show off."

I nearly choked on my food.

"He called _me_ that?!"

"He said you did seem like it when you caught those six pokemon."

"But he's the one who was up in my face to begin with!" I protested. "And he did it again this morning!"

Brock raised his hands. "His words, not mine. But you don't seem like an arrogant show off to me. Stupid, yes. But not arrogant."

I rolled my eyes. "Do I still have to find Team Rocket?"

"If you want to challenge my gym, yes."

"I don't know where to look, though."

"Usually, you don't need to," Brock explained. "They just show up whenever they feel they need to make people miserable."

Just then, the ground shook. Brock and I fell out of our chairs, and we looked out the window across the street to see the City Bank blown wide open, and a couple of guys dressed in black with a visible red R logo on their shirts, accompanied by several Koffings, Ekans, and Drowsys.

Brock sighed. "Like that."

I stood up immediately.

"We gotta stop them before they hurt somebody!" I exclaimed.

"You might be a little late for that," Brock lamented darkly as he pointed out all the people on the ground with injuries from the explosion.

"...Kill. Before they kill somebody, then," I corrected sheepishly.

Brock nodded. "I'll get as many people to safety as I can!"

He then went outside, calling out a few Geodudes along the way, and immediately started to gather as many of the wounded as he could with his pokemon's help. I ran out as well, however I went directly to the criminals themselves.

"Hey!" I shouted.

The three Rockets turned to look down at me.

I summoned all three of my pokemon, all ready to battle.

"Leave this city and never come back, or else!"

They all looked at eachother. The middle one spoke up after an awkward silence.

"Or else what?"

"Or else my pokemon and I will beat you three to the curb!" I retorted confidently.

The three inspected me and my pokemon.

I had my hat turned and gave off the most menacing glare I could manage.

Saur pawed at the ground.

Poli tried to look threatening, but then sneezed and fell over on his behind.

Pika was generating electricity from his cheeks and wielding his harmonica like a club.

The three villains started to laugh.

"You're kidding, right kid?" the middle one gasped. "We're Team Rocket! Do you know what we do to twerps like you?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Why don't you clue me in."

"We steal your pokemon!" one said.

"How? Are you just going to beat me up and take them?" I asked innocently.

"No! We're going to challenge you to a battle! And _then_ we'll beat you up and take them!"

"Wouldn't it be easier if you just skipped the first step?" I pointed out.

The Rockets all looked around in confusion like they were hit by a Zubat's supersonic attack.

"You know, he does have a point..."

"I can have Ekans restrain him..."

"I've never seen a Bulbasaur up close before..."

"ENOUGH!" the leader shouted. "Just for questioning our methods, we're going to eliminate you _and_ your pokemon!"

"Aw, but the Poliwag is so cute!" one said. "I just wanna hold it, and cuddle it, and-"

"Koffing! Sludge!" the leader shouted.

One of the Koffings floated towards me and fired a sludge attack. Luckily, my pokemon and I managed to run away in time.

"Pika, Thundershock!"

Pika fired a bolt of lightning at the Koffing, taking it down instantly.

The lead grunt growled and looked at the other five pokemon with him and his teammates: two Ekans, two Drowsys, and one last Koffing.

"Get them!" he shouted. "Wrap, Confusion, Poison Gas, anything!"

The pokemon ran towards mine and initiated their attacks.

Poli was caught in an Ekans' Wrap.

Pika was hit with a Confusion and proceeded to hit himself.

The Poison Gas had no effect on Saur due to his secondary typing, but he was attacked a second afterward by a Drowsy using Stomp. I'm praying that the Drowsy doesn't use Confusion on Saur.

I racked my brains to try to come up with a strategy.

Then it hit me.

"Poli, use Water Gun on the Ekans restraining you, then Pika, you zap it with a Thundershock!"

The two pokemon did as commanded, and the Ekans was down.

"Saur, use Stun Spore on the Drowsy!"

Saur followed the order, and the Drowsy was paralyzed.

"Now use Razor Leaf!"

Drowsy, unable to fight back, was subdued by the swarm of leaves barraging it.

"Pika, Agility!"

Pika suddenly became a yellow blur as he went in and around the other Ekans until it became so frantic in catching the yellow mouse, that it ended up tangling itself.

"Now finish it off!"

One zap and the second Ekans was no longer a problem.

I didn't even need to tell Poli to take down the Koffing with a Bubblebeam, so that only left the last Drowsy, who was wrapped in Saur's vines.

"Alright guys!" I cheered. "Now end this!"

Poli sprayed the Drowsy with a Water Gun, while Pika got onto Saur's bulb. He let out an electrical attack, using the vines as a conductor that led down to the soaking wet Drowsy, knocking it out cold.

The Rockets were standing there open mouthed.

"Wh-what are you?" one of them stuttered.

I gave them a malicious grin.

"I'm Batman."

Then they all took off running, dropping their stolen money in the process and screaming down the road.

"That was impressive battling, _Batman_."

I turned to see Brock approaching with a satisfied grin on his stone edged face.

"Actually, just Red will do," I chuckled.

"Well, okay Just Red," Brock said. "Go heal your pokemon. I'll wait for you and take you to the gym so we can have our battle."

It turns out Green's advice was worth listening to after all.

Poli was able to take down Geodude with one Water Gun, but Brock's Onix was a tough one. Saur and Poli's attacks did manage to weaken it considerably, but it was too big to be taken down completely by my two small pokemon. It managed to defeat Saur with a Bind, and get Poli down to critical.

However, Onix looked like it could go down with just one more hit.

That's when I decided to make a game changing risk.

"Poli, return!" I shouted, calling my Poliwag back to its ball.

I got out Pika's ball.

"Go, Pika!"

Pika, at full health, stood in ready position, cheeks sparking as it awaited a command.

Brock sighed. "Onix is part ground type, and electric attacks are ineffective. That's battling 101."

"I know," I smirked.

Brock raised an eyebrow.

"Then why-?"

"Quick Attack."

In the blink of an eye, Onix was down, with Pika standing on Onix's horn, beating his chest and flexing his arms.

Brock was standing there, mouth agape.

I stood there in shock as well.

"How-?"

Holy crap, that actually worked.

But I didn't let it show on the outside.

On the outside, I cheered. I cheered for Pika. I cheered for Saur. I cheered for Poli.

I won my first gym battle!

Brock gave a grin as he approached me.

"Well don, Red," he said, pulling something out of his pocket. "As promised, I present to you, the Boulder Badge."

I hesitantly plucked the badge from Brock's palm.

"I... I don't know what to say," I breathed.

Brock smiled. "Just promise me that you'll become the champion, and kick a few Team Rocket butts while you're at it."

I nodded. "You got it!"

**And so, Red wins his first official league badge and manages to get out of his first fight with Team Rocket victorious. But the journey is far from over! What else will Red encounter on his quest? Find out, in the next chapter of Pokemon Misadventures! **

**P.S., spot the Yugioh Abridged reference :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Dark Side of Mt. Moon

I really should have gotten a few potions before hitting the road.

Everywhere I turned, there was a trainer challenging me to a battle. Some of them went down embarassingly easy, but some of them kept spamming certain attacks that left my pokemon unable to attack and inflicted continuous damage. My pokemon were low on health and looked like they would faint the next time they battled.

On the plus side, however, my Poliwag evolved into a Poliwhirl.

I guess I've been using Poli alot more than I realized, because Pika and Saur were still level 14 and 15 respectively, and Poliwag is supposed to evolve at level 20. I'm not complaining though, I'm actually really excited that one of my pokemon evolved, especially since Poli was kind of the "baby" of my little family.

In the transition, Poli lost his tail and his little pink mouth (or nose, I could never tell what it was) and gained two arms with white gloves on each hand. He definitely looked alot tougher, and despite his fatigue, looked like he will jump at the next opprotunity to show off his new strength.

Thankfully, one of the trainers I defeated told me that there was a pokemon center near the enterance to the mountain, so one quick stop there, and I'll be able to continue my journey.

Unfortunately, things are never that simple.

After I finished healing my pokemon, I went out of the pokemon center and walked over to a nearby pond. I sat down at the edge, legs crossed, while Saur proceeded to start drinking the water, Poli jumping in to swim, and Pika sitting in my lap as I scratched his ear.

It was then that I heard stomping on the ground.

The _angry _kind.

I looked over to see a girl sit down a little farther down from where I was. The first thing that caught my attention was the fact that she was a redhead. An attractive redhead to boot. I watched as she angrily thrusted stones at the water, one of them hitting Poli.

I stood up immediately. "Hey!"

The girl's expression changed from angry to regretful in an instant.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! Is that your Poliwhirl?"

The girl dived into the water and swam over to Poli. She checked him over to make sure she didn't hurt him too bad and patted him on the head.

"Are you okay?" The girl asked affectionately.

Poli seemed to warm up to the girl instantly, obviously enjoying the attention.

The girl smiled and swam back to shore, climbing back onto the ground. As she dried her bright, gorgeous red hair...

What? I have a thing for redheads, okay? That's not weird.

Anyway, she started to speak to me.

"I'm really sorry about that," she said.

"Hey, it's alright," I said. I meant it too.

The girl sighed. "It's just, something of mine was stolen, and I tried to get it back, but... my pokemon were outnumbered and they got away."

"What was stolen?"

"A fossil I found in Diglett Cave," she said. "It was taken by a group in black."

I furrowed my brow. "Did they happen to have a big, red R on their shirts?"

The girl raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, they did."

"Which way did they go?"

"Into the mountain, but-"

I took off as fast as I could towards the mountain entrance, pokemon following, when I heard the girl call after me.

"Hey!"

I turned around to see the girl running up with an incredulous expression.

"Where are you going?" she asked forcefully.

"I'm going to find those Rocket jerks and get back your fossil," I replied in a matter of fact tone.

"If I couldn't beat them, what makes you think you could?"

"I scared a few of them out of Pewter City," I shrugged.

"Oh, your _that _kid," she laughed.

I raised an eyebrow. "You've heard of me?"

"There was a news segment a day ago about how a boy who was arrested for causing a disturbance dressed up as Batman managed to foil a bank robbery," she explained.

I couldn't help but sweatdrop. "That was on the news?"

Oh man, I can't imagine what my mom might be thinking right now.

"And, no offense," the girl continued. "But there were only three of them then. There were about seventeen that attacked me and ran off. Do you think your three pokemon can come up with a good enough strategy to beat them?"

I gave the girl a cocksure grin. "There's only one way to find out."

The girl sighed. "Then I'm coming with you. I know the mountain better than you, so you'll need me to navigate through it."

"Okay, do you happen to know how to get to Cerulean City that way?"

"I would hope so, I live there."

"Cool."

I held out my hand. "I'm Red, by the way."

The girl smiled and shook my hand.

"Misty."

"Misty... That's a pretty name for a pretty girl. "

I said that out loud, didn't I?

The fact that Misty's face came to match her hair was an indicator.

Then her fist came into contact with the top of my skull.

"Don't think that since you agreed to help me that it gives you the right to hit on me!" she huffed.

"Ow..." I muttered as I rubbed my head. "It was a compliment."

My grin returned. "Plus, you're the one _hitting_ on me. Eh? Eh?"

Misty merely walked ahead of me, nose in the air.

I looked down to see Saur and Poli stifling laughs while Pikachu climbed onto my shoulder.

"Pika-pi!"

"What?" I blushed at the yellow rodent's suggestion. "I wasn't- it was just a polite comment, alright!"

Pika merely smirked as I called back my other pokemon to their balls and ran after Misty.

**IN THE CAVE:**

"Are we there yet?"

I tried not to laugh as I heard Misty's exasperated sigh in front of me.

"No."

I did this all the time when I went on trips with my mom. I know it's kind of a jerk thing to do, but she eventually laughs at the end.

I was hoping that Misty would do the same.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"_No._"

"Are we there yet?"

Misty turned to face me.

"GOSH DARN IT, RED!" she shouted. "We are not there yet!"

I started to laugh.

Misty growled. "Why are you laughing? Haven't you forgotten what we're doing here?"

"Just trying to lighten the mood," I said innocently.

Misty's expression eased up a little. She then gave off a small smile along with an eyeroll.

"Boys," she muttered as she walked ahead.

After that, there was silence except for water dripping from the stalactites and the occasional sound of a Zubat's wings flapping.

Then, out of nowhere, I was attacked by said Zubat. The thing clutched onto my face as I started running around frantically.

"AHHHH! GET IT OFF!" I shouted.

Then, I felt the familiar pain of electricity run through my body, and the Zubat was on the ground, unconcious.

I sighed in relief, before the pain from the lightning settled in.

"Ow- thanks Pika-ow."

"Pikachu!"

Misty just giggled as we continued on.

"So," I started in order to break the silence. "Do you know who the gym leader in Cerulean is?"

Misty shrugged. "All I can tell you is that the gym leader is a water type specialist."

I grinned. Water type, eh? Saur and Pika can win that one with their eyes closed.

Just then, I heard a jingling sound, and saw a pink blur disappear in the darker corner of the cave.

"Did you see that?" I asked Misty.

"See what?"

"That pink pokemon in the corner, it just vanished!"

"It was probably just a Clefairy," she dismissed. "Those are very common around Mt. Moon."

"It was too fast to be a Clefairy," I argued.

Misty, however, held up a hand to silence me.

"Do you hear that?" she asked quietly.

I stayed silent as the sound of human voices began to become louder.

"I asked you specifically to get a fossilized eyelash. Does THIS look like an eyelash to you?"

"No."

"Yes."

I hear the sound of a palm connecting to a face.

"You imbeciles can't do anything right! You are unworthy to be warriors under my ninja might!"

I peeked around the cornor along with Misty to see a man wearing the Rocket Uniform and a red scarf berating the seventeen grunts Misty mentioned.

"Hey, that rhymed," one grunt said.

"Silence!"

The grunts cowered in fear as the self proclaimed ninja raised his hand.

"Without that fossil, we'd have to resort to finding the actual pokemon for the boss' experiment to work," he continued. "And I hope that I don't have to remind you how difficult that would be."

Just then, the man held a hand to his ear and gave off an evil grin.

"Well, looks like you morons are off the hook," the man chuckled. "One of our teams managed to find the fossil in Guyana, and are sending it to Kanto right now."

The grunts all looked relieved.

"What about the fossil we stole from the girl?" one asked.

The ninja waved a hand. "Do whatever you want with it."

I felt Misty grab me by the shirt, pulling me down to eye level.

"Okay, here's the plan," she said. "We find a way to distract the grunts and pick off the one with the fossil, then once we get it, we collapse this section of the cave so they won't follow us."

"Isn't that a little cruel?" I asked. "I mean, sure these guys suck, but that doesn't mean we should leave them to die-"

"We only block the way we take, they can get out the way we came in," Misty explained. "It will take them longer to find another way through the mountain, and we'll be able to lose them by then."

I grinned. This girl was pretty resourceful. Maybe I should convince her to come with me on the rest of my journey.

"Alright, let's do it!" I said excitedly.

Of course, at that moment, _another_ Zubat latched onto my face.

I hate these things.

It took five minutes and a _lot_ of self restraint from screaming in frustration, but I finally managed to pry the stupid bat off my face.

Misty smirked.

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, now let's do it."

"Hi."

"Oh, hi ninja Rocket guy," I said cheerfully.

I froze. That came from behind us.

I turned along with Misty to see the spiky haired ninja guy smirking down at us.

"So... what are two children like you doing here?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Oh, you know," I said, trying to remain as calm as possible. "Just explorin' the cave.

"Explorin' the cave?"

"Explorin' the cave."

"Thwartin' my plans?

"Thwartin' your plans?"

"Are you?"

"No..."

"Good, 'cause that'd be bad."

"How bad?"

"I'd have to kill you."

"That's bad."

"Indeed."

"Okay, enough with the Team Four Star references!" Misty shouted. "Give me back the fossil I found!"

The man laughed. "You mean the Omanyte fossil?"

Omanyte fossil? Where have I heard that before?

Then I felt myself being grabbed from behind. I felt the warm breath of a Rocket grunt going down my neck. Ew.

I also noticed that Pika was gone, adding to my worries. Where did he go? Was he alright? Will he get help?

I turned my head to see Misty being grabbed as well, kicking her captor as she rose off the ground, but the grunt didn't budge.

"I'm afraid an Omanyte fossil is too valuable for us to give back to you, my dear," the ninja explained. "I imagine that it would fetch a good price on the market. That is, once we revive it."

Revive a fossil? Is that even possible?

I turned that thought away as what the man said registered in my head.

"What kind of creeps are you," I seethed. "To steal pokemon and treat them as mere objects to make money?! That's sick!"

The ninja shrugged. "What's more sickening? What we do for a living or the fact that there are people out there who _know full well_ that they'repaying for a stolen pokemon?"

I looked down at my pokeballs. I tried to squirm my arm to my belt to reach them, but the grunt holding me twisted my arm behind me.

"I wouldn't want to make things worse for yourself," the ninja said. "You and your girlfriend are already at our mercy.

I felt my face burn and was about to protest that Misty wasn't my girlfriend, but then a voice appeared from the darkness.

"Don't be too sure."

Oh no.

That voice.

That irritating, overconfident voice.

I watched as the figure stepped from the shadows with a determined look scribed into his features, Pika right next to his leg.

"Green!" Misty shouted.

I raised an eyebrow. Misty knew Green? How-

Then I remembered my conversation with Brock.

_I made him go to Diglet Cave to help a friend of mine recover an Omanyte fossil. _

Great. First he gets to the gyms before me, now he gets to the pretty girls before me.

Not that I like Misty in that way, I just met her.

...I just think she's pretty, that's all.

...You, shippers at the computer, **stop typing now.**

...Then again, I wonder if I have a shot with her...

Augh! Forget it! Back to the plot!

"Let them go," Green said simply.

"Pika!"

"Fool," the ninja laughed. "Don't you know who you're talking to?"

Green raised an eyebrow. "A Foot Ninja cosplayer?"

I couldn't help but smirk. Good one.

Oh Arceus, I smirked at something Green said.

Did I contract some sort of disease unknowingly?

"What? No! I am the great Koga! The master of all ninjas!"

"Look buddy," Green chided. "Just because you look the part, doesn't mean you got casted in the role."

"Well..." Koga stalled. "...I have these!"

Kaga then pulled out what looked liked (and honestly, I think are really, really cool) a suriken combined with a pokeball. He then threw it at Green, barely missing his face.

Green merely yawned. "Please."

He pulled the pokesuriken (still freaking awesome) out of the rock wall and held it up.

"Anybody could use one of these."

He then threw it at a Rocket grunt, pinning him to the rock by his shirt.

"Do you even know any ninjitsu?" Green asked skeptically.

"...What?"

"You know, ninjitsu. The main martial art ninjas train in?"

Koga looked completely flustered.

"Umm... Get the boy!"

He then took out a smoke pellet and threw it to the ground. A burst of smoke came where he stood. Once the smoke cleared...

...He was still there.

Misty and I burst out laughing. How could we not?

Steam rose from Koga's head as he threw another smoke pellet, this time succeeding with his vanishing act.

I took that as an opprotunity to kick my captor in the groin (which is against the guy code, but desparate times, desparate measures), and released Saur, who then pried off the grunt holding Misty with a Vine Whip.

I heard the sound of electrical attacks and turned in time to catch Pika and witness the pile of unconcious Rocket grunts in his wake.

Misty released a Staryu from one of her pokeballs and used it to knock out another Rocket, retrieving her Omanyte fossil.

Wait.

Misty is using a water type pokemon.

Omanyte is part water type.

She's from Cerulean City.

The gym leader in Cerulean City is a water type specialist.

Maybe...

I turned at the sound of pokemon being released from pokeballs, and watched as the remaining Rockets ordered their pokemon to attack.

Dang it! I lost my train of thought!

"Come on!" Green shouted as he got out his Machop.

Misty and I followed him through the stone labyrinth as dozens of Rattata, Ekans, and Sandshrews chased us. Saur and Staryu tried to keep them at bay with Razor Leaf and Bubblebeam, but there were too many of them.

As we were running, I glared at Green.

"What now, genius?"

Green looked up at the cavern roof and over at his Machop.

He stopped running and let Misty and I pass him, before we stopped as well.

"What are you doing?" Misty shouted.

Green smirked and then turned to Machop.

"Karate Chop the wall," he ordered.

Machop grinned and nodded as he prepared his hand.

"MAAAAAACHOP!"

With one swift stroke, he hit the cave wall. Next thing I knew, the cave started to rumble.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US?!" I shouted.

Green frowned. "I was trying to lose them by collapsing the cave."

"WHILE WE"RE STILL IN IT?" Misty shouted just as angrily.

"I didn't think about that," Green admitted.

Misty sighed. She then released a Starmie.

"Red, Green, you both get onto Starmie, while I grab onto to Staryu. The'll be able to speed us out of here thanks to their levitate effect."

My eyes widened, then I gave Green a look of disgust.

"Yeah, right!" I said. "Like I'm gonna share a ride with _him._"

Green merely called back his Machop.

"Get over it," he said, shoving me as he made his way to the Starmie. "Retrieve your pokemon and let's get out of here."

I gave one last glare before I called back Saur and Pika, then got onto the Starmie alongside Green.

"Ready," I called to Misty.

She nodded. "Get us out of here, guys!"

The two starfish pokemon did as their trainer commanded. I felt my stomach lurch greatly as they zoomed through the rest of the mountain, quickly dodging the falling rocks and surfing the sea of stone. Once we finally got to the exit, we jumped off the pokemon and watched as the cave exit collapsed.

"...Never again," I breathed, feeling as if I was about to throw up. You know those super fast roller coasters that are in the dark? That was ten times worse.

"You think those pokemon will be okay?" Misty asked.

"The wild pokemon know the mountain better than anyone and can probably find another way out if they need to," Green said. "Team Rocket's pokemon should be able to use their natural instincts to get back to their trainers."

"Wouldn't it be better if the pokemon never found their way back," I said. "And instead they decide to go wild and start over."

"Maybe," Green answered thoughtfully. "But the thing is, a pokemon will always be loyal to their trainer, even when the trainer is like someone from Team Rocket."

"Look!" Misty exclaimed.

We turned to see Cerulean City shining down in the distance.

I grinned. "Alright! Gym leader, here I come!"

I ran down the mountain in excitement. I realized that Misty and Green were still behind me, and called back to them without turning.

"Come on guys! I'm not waiting all day!"

As I ran, I heard their fading voices conversing.

"Should I tell him?" said Green.

"He'll find out soon enough," Misty replied.

Huh. Wonder what they mean by that.

**To Be Continued...**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Sink or Swim

"I see you two have caught quite a bit of pokemon."

Green and I were currently in the pokemon center, video chatting with Professor Oak while Misty watched. I didn't really want to talk to him to begin with, but when Nurse Joy told us that he was on the line, Green dragged me with him before I could think of a good excuse to run away.

"If I have to talk to him, you do too," he hissed.

Back to the present conversation, Green was wearing a bit of a triumphant look while I was sitting there with a forced smile stretched across my face.

"You recieved all the pokemon I sent you, right Gramps?" Green bragged.

"Of course I did. These are very intereting specimen, Jaden."

I noticed that Green's eye started to twitch again.

"I'm a little disapointed that you haven't caught more pokemon, Red," Oak said. "But to be fair, there are going to be plenty more opprotunities for you to catch rare pokemon."

I could honestly care less about Oak's stupid pokedex and trying to catch every pokemon I could find. I mean, sure, I would definitely try to catch more pokemon, but I also wanted them to be ones that I could become friends with and make sure they would be great additions to my team, not so they could sit and collect dust in a PC or on a laboratory shelf.

"However, there is a more important reason I called you two," Oak sighed. "You remember the Squirtle that was left behind when you two chose Bulbasaur and Charmander to start your journies, right?"

Green and I nodded.

"It's been stolen."

"Stolen?!" Green shouted in disbelief.

I stood up. "Did Team Rocket do it?"

"I don't believe so," Oak said. "The Squirtle was taken in a rather stealthy manner, which doesn't match Team Rocket's style. They're alot less subtle when it comes to stealing pokemon. Plus, from some fingerprints I discovered, they seem to belong to a child close to your age."

"What do you want us to do?" Green asked.

"I'll analyze the fingerprints to see if I can get a match on a suspect," Oak explained. "Once I do, I'll send you both a picture of the thief, and if you see them, retrieve the Squirtle by _any. means. necessary._

He said the last three words with unfaltering seriousness to the point of being disturbing. What he said next was even more so;

"I don't care if you have to kill the thief, just get the Squirtle back."

As Green and I sweatdroped, Oak suddenly grinned happily. Man, talk about mood swings.

"Have fun, and keep me updated."

The moniter then shut off, leaving me and Green sitting there, eyes widened.

"Is he always creepy like that?" I asked.

"...You should see him on Tuesdays when he's in his Jigglypuff pajamas," Green muttered.

As I sat there feeling horrified as I thought about Green's homelife, Misty cleared her throat.

"Okay... so, do you two need a place to stay? If so, then I can have a couple of rooms set up at my place."

"Oh, we can't," I started. "We already caused you so much trouble."

"What do you mean, 'we'?" I heard Green say.

Misty smiled. "What are you talking about? You helped me get my fossil back. Plus, I have plenty of room to share, it's the least I could do."

Turns out that "plenty of room" is a bit of an understatement.

She lives in a FREAKING MANSION!

How awesome is that?!

The place is exactly like how it's shown in movies and described in books. The hallways were long and wide. The staircases spiraled in every unimaginable direction one could comprehend. Crystal chandeliers were hanging everywhere.

And there were dozens of pretty maids waiting for your first request.

"I could get used to this," I grinned as my rival and I walked up the stairs to find our rooms.

Green rolled his eyes. "We're only staying until we get our second badge. Until then, try not to abuse your girlfriend's hospitality."

I felt my face burn as I turned to glare at Green.

"She's NOT my girlfriend!"

Green smirked. "Not yet."

"What's that supposed to-"

Green slipped into his room before I could finish. I sighed as I opened the door to my room.

It was bigger than my mom's living room. I am not joking.

The bed was large enough to fit a Snorlax,and there was _still _enough room for two couches and a flat screen TV on the wall, plus a balcony overlooked the cape on Route 25. I didn't really pay much attention to the decor, because, well, I think a _flat screen TV_ was higher up in the coolness factor than whether the carpet matched the drapes.

I let out my pokemon to explore the room and then plopped onto the couch. I turned on the TV and went straight to HBO, which was playing my favorite movie, _How to Train Your Dragonite_.

As I sat there and watched, Pika jumped onto the couch to watch with me, while Saur was raiding the mini fridge and Poli filling up the pool sized bathtub to swim. When the movie was three quarters the way through, I heard a knock on the door.

I got up to answer it, and to my suprise, Green was standing there, thrusting a tuxedo into my arms.

"One of the maids told me that dinner will be ready soon," he said. "And Misty wants us both to wear these."

I looked at the black tux in my hands. It felt nice and soft, but it was the middle of summer, and I'll be danged if I have to wear a tuxedo in the summer, AC or no AC.

"Tell Misty that I am disinclined to aquiesce to her request," I replied.

Green raised an eyebrow.

"Means no."

"I know, I know," Green said with a smirk. "But she told me to tell you if you said that, that instead of dining with Misty and I, you'll dine with the maids. _In the nude._"

I felt my face match my name as I slammed the door in Green's face. I didn't think they were serious, but not wanting to expose my...little Diglett, to a bunch of women in their late teens, early twenties, I immediately started changing into the tuxedo.

I pulled at my red bowtie as I walked down the stairs with my pokemon, and saw Green in his tuxedo and green bowtie, giving me a disbelieving look as his pokemon greeted mine.

"What?" I asked bluntly.

"You're still wearing the hat?"

I reached up to my red cap and patted it affectionately. "This hat never leaves my head unless I sleep or bathe. Get used to it."

"You two look spiffy," a voice said.

I turned back to the stairs, and my jaw dropped as if the earth's gravitational pull was playing tug-a-war with it.

Misty looked amazing. No, that word doesn't do her justice. I don't think there is a good enough word to describe how beautiful she looks in her shining blue dress that matches her equally shining eyes.

So I felt the sudden impulse to sing. I don't know why, but that felt like the only thing that can describe it.

"In my life  
She has burst like the music of angels  
The light of the sun  
And my life seems to stop  
As if something is over  
And something has scarcely begun."

I turned to Green and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"My man Green, you're the friend who has brought me here.  
Thanks to you I am one with the gods and heaven is near!  
And I soar through a world that is new that is free..."

I then felt Green's fist connect to my face, causing me to fall to the floor.

"Do that again and I won't hesitate to have Scyther stab you," Green warned. "Repeatedly."

I got up quickly and looked up at Misty, who was giving me a questioning look.

"You look great," I said meekly.

I expected to be hit again, but Misty just giggled.

"Why didn't you just say that?" she said, smiling. "Come on, this way."

She led us to a long dining hall, with an glossed wooden table that could seat about twelve. Delicious food spread along it as far as the eye could see, from chicken, to lobster, to rice, basically you name it, it's there. I was practically drooling at the sight.

Pika and Saur were doing the same at the picnic blanket set up in the garden the dining room overlooked. Piled onto it were enough berries, pokemon food, and... whatever else pokemon ate (I should really do more research on that), to fill up the two parties of pokemon.

The pokemon all rushed outside, leaving Green, Misty and I to sit at the table.

I was about to go on and dig in like a Saiyan, piling up my plate with everything I could find, but after a glance at Green and Misty, who were doing all that fancy cotillion stuff with forks and knives, I figured I'd try that too, as a way of impressing Misty.

After struggling to cut up a chicken leg, I decided, screw it, and just gorged in a manner that would make Goku proud.

"I never got the chance to thank you," I heard Misty say. "For helping Red and I escape."

"Don't," Green said. "You both would've done the same for me."

I stopped eating to consider that remark. I looked up at Green. He had his serious expression again. Man, can't this guy choose a personality and stick with it already?

But, he was right. Even though we have our differences, I would have helped him too if he needed it.

"I know that you two are going to try and become stronger on your journey," Misty said. "But so is Team Rocket. That's why we need to train harder and prepare."

I couldn't help but snort.

_"All of us," _she said pointedly.

"Please," I said. "I can take on the whole of Team Rocket with my hands and legs tied behind my back."

"You only managed to successfully take down three of them," Green countered. "If it wasn't for me, you'd still be held prisoner in Mt. Moon, or dead."

"Plus, Team Rocket isn't completely full of idiots," Misty added. "I mean, sure, the ninja guy was a little... quirky, but he seemed smart enough to be an actual threat, and was the reason you and I needed rescuing to begin with. What if there's more Rockets like that out there? If we have to face him again or even stronger opponents, how could you be so sure you'd win?"

"I have my trusty pokemon," I argued. "They haven't failed me yet, and I have a feeling they won't lose anytime soon."

"That won't always be the case," Green said. "Everybody loses at least once. Your day might come very soon."

I rose from my seat quickly and glaring. "Is that a challenge?"

Green smirked. "Maybe it is."

"Guys!" Misty said, standing as well. She turned to me.

"Red, all we're saying is that it never hurts to aspire to be better. It's not good to keep yourself the way you are."

My glare turned to her. "Are you implying something's wrong with me?"

"No, I just mean- you can't expect to accomplish something without trying! You can't just expect victory to fall into your lap like you're Superman, or Sherlock Holmes, or Yugi Muto!"

"Or a Mary Sue," Green added.

I growled in frustration. "Whatever, I don't need this."

I left the table and walked out of the dining room, stomping up the stairs to my room. I slammed the door and dived onto my bed.

I probably shouldn't be as angry as I am now. I guess I just don't like it when people say I'm not good enough. That's always been kind of a flaw of mine. When I feel like I'm doing great, I hate it when people say I could be better. I don't know, maybe it's because I hate feeling like I'm disappointing someone, or my own pride, that makes me feel that. Especially when the people telling you this are your rival and a girl you only met a few hours ago.

They didn't see me fight. What do they know? I win every pokemon battle I partake in. How dare they tell me that I need to train, to become stronger. Especially Green. He's jealous, he knows I'm stronger than him and he's trying to get into my head and set me on edge!

Then I heard the door open.

"Pikachu?"

I sit up to see Poli holding the door open, with Pika and Saur rushing into my room and jumping onto my bed.

"Hey guys," I greeted. "I'm gonna prove that we don't need to train."

I yawned. "We'll wipe the floor with the Cerulean gym leader tomorrow. They'll see."

I then gave into my exhaustion and fell into the warm embrace of sleep.

I woke up the next morning to find the whole mansion empty.

"Hello?" I called out uncertainly.

I walked the desolate halls alongside my pokemon, curious as to where everyone could have possibly gone.

"Pika?" Pika cooed worriedly.

"I'm sure everyone's fine," I responded.

"Saur?"

I sighed. "Very funny."

As I went down the stairs and came on the second floor to look, I felt a fireball fly past, scorching the wall behind me.

"What the he-?"

_Whoosh!_

Another fireball launched, causing me and my pokemon to spread out and dodge.

"I must say, you're a fast one."

I turned to see Green with his arms crossed and his Charmander glaring at us.

"What are you doing?!" I shouted.

Green shrugged. "I'm bored. Charmander's bored. My whole team is bored."

"So you're attacking me and my pokemon for no reason?"

Green gave me a sadistic smile. "Yep."

Oh. Miltank patties.

Green's gone crazy. It was only a matter of time, but I was hoping that I wouldn't be his first victim.

"Charmander, let's see if he can survive a flamethrower," Green commanded.

"Survive!?" I yelped.

As Charmander charged up a flame in his mouth, I summoned all my pokemon back to their pokeballs and ran down the hallway and jumped out the window...

...Forgeting that I was two stories up and therefore falling from a 16 feet drop.

As I fell, I aimed for a cart of hay conviently close to my landing point, hoping it would cusion my fall.

THAM!

It did not. Assassin's Creed lied to me!

"Owwww," I muttered. If I knew I would get hurt this much on my pokemon journey, I would have gotten health insurance.

Yes, in this world, ten year olds can apply for health insurance. And I was moronic enough not to take advantage of this.

Putting my excruciating pain aside, I leapt out of the now broken cart and started running as fast as I can. I turned to see if Green was still following me, only to see him flying after me on a Pidgeotto.

I ran through the water based city, climbing onto the buildings and trying to employ all the parkour tricks I've seen on TV and in video games. The keyword is _trying._

Due to my pain from the fall, I couldn't make most of the jumps, causing me to continuously falling to the pavement below, to the point where I was limping as I approached the gym.

"LET ME IN!" I shouted as I banged on the doors. "THIS KID IS PSYCHO!"

"Oh, really?"

I am ashamed to say that I let out the most effeminate scream I never knew I had in me as I turned around.

Green let out a laugh. "The only way out of this is a battle, Red. Come on, face me like a man!"

My fright turned to anger as I looked into Green's gleaming, goating eyes. I slowly, painfully turned my cap, and pulled out my first pokemon.

"Saur, go!"

Saur sprang out of the pokeball, sharing my glare and ready to battle.

Green smirked as Charmander jumped down from the Pidgeotto.

"Flamethrower!"

"Razor Leaf!" I shouted.

The attacks from the two pokemon collided. Don't ask me how a stream of fire was able to collide with a bunch of leaves without burning all of them, I'm a trainer not a scientist. The pokemon struggled to throw the other off as they got closer and closer.

Then, once they got close enough, the attacks burst, sending Saur and Charmander flying back. Once Saur regained his composure, I gave out the order to perform his most powerful attack.

"Saur, Solarbeam, now!"

Nothing happened. Saur only gave me a questioning look.

"Wh-what?" I sweatdroped. "What's going on? You were able to use it against all those Spearow and Beedrill!"

"It usually takes a pokemon like Bulbasaur a long time to learn a move like that," Green said. "But in some rare cases, a pokemon can have access to those powerful moves if they or their trainer is in extreme danger."

"Where did you learn that?"

Green smirked. "I guess a little bit of Gramps rubbed off on me for a second there. Oh well, Charmander, hit em with another flamethrower!"

"Chhhaaaarrrr!"

Charmander let out another stream of flame, only this time, he succeeded in hitting Saur. Saur was out in less than a second.

"Saur, no!" I shouted.

I growled in fury. "You'll pay for that! Poli, go!"

I sent out Poli, who was eager to avenge his fallen friend.

"Poli, hit him with Water Gun!" I called.

Poli's aim was true, and he took down Charmander with one burst of water, careful not to extinguish the flame tail.

But Green wasn't finished. He then sent out his Machop, which immediately charged at Poli. The two pokemon were taking the hand to hand route, with Poli blocking Machop's Karate Chops and trying to get in a punch of his own.

Poli repelled Machop with a Water Gun, and then fell back to my side. With Green pulling out his Scyther, I called out Pika, making it a two on two match.

But before we could do anything, my pokemon were down.

I looked at Green in confusion, but his pokemon haven't moved at all.

"A true trainer needs to always be aware of their surroundings," a voice called.

I turned to see Misty in the doorway of the gym accompanied by her Starmie.

"What's going on?" I ask as I call my pokemon back to their balls.

"Your first training session could have gone better," I heard Green say along with a thump, meaning he jumped off his Pidgeotto. "But then again, it's not like we're in a hurry. At this rate, I'd say you'd be done in about two weeks."

I raised an eyebrow. "I don't get it."

Misty rolled her eyes. "Red, we're trying to turn you into a more alert and ambitious trainer. Green and I-"

"Don't bring me into it," Green commented.

"-Well, _I_ think you have great potential that you can't waste by being lazy and assuming you're invincible. After all, it wouldn't be responsible for me as a gym leader to let you go on without guidance."

I fell over. How am I so stupid? I really need to pay more attention in case I encounter more gym leaders before I get to their gyms.

I jumped up quickly. "Why do you care? You could do this for any other trainer, but why me in particular?"

"It's not just you," Misty said, though I caught the hint of a slight blush. "Not many trainers actually succeed in their journey, either quitting, losing when they get so close, or falling to the obstacles in their way. You and Green are the first trainers I've seen in a long time that look like they could not only become champion, but maybe you could disband Team Rocket before they can cause too much harm."

I stared at her. She actually has faith in me. In Green. In both of us. She thinks that we could make a difference.

I think I get why it's important to always train to be better now.

I smiled. "Well, what are we waiting for?"

**Two Weeks Later...**

I finally perfected my evasion tactics.

I was wired to expect Green to attack me every morning, so I found a secret path out of the mansion to avoid him. Once he discovered I was out, I was halfway to the gym, able to cross the rooftops effectively without any injuries hampering me.

However, Green's Pidgeotto was fast, and managed to corner me at the gym anyway. To rectify this, I had Pika zap the two of them with a Thunderbolt. Harsh, I know, but a little combat pragmatism isn't bad, right?

Knowing that Misty was going to attack me from behind, I quickly had Pika take down her Staryu and Starmie. Misty ran back into the gym and I followed her so that our real battle can finally begin. Once in, I found myself facing a lengthy pool, with Misty at the other end, standing in front of a lifeguard chair.

"Let's see what two weeks of training have accomplished," Misty grinned. "Go, Goldeen!"

A white and orange fish with a horn protruding from its forhead landed into the pool in front of me.

I grinned. "Saur, I choose you!"

Saur sprung from his pokeball, battle-ready in his new form as an Ivysaur. He pawed at the ground and grinned confidently at the opposing Goldeen.

"Saur, fire at will with Bullet Seed!"

Saur started firing said attack into the water, trying his best to hit the fish pokemon, but Goldeen was quick, and I could tell it was not willing to go down without a fight.

"Goldeen, use Bubblebeam!" Misty shouted.

Goldeen launched the attack at Saur, but due to Saur's type advantage, the attack was not very effective. And the weird thing was she knew this. So why not try a different attack?

"Saur, try another Bullet Seed!" I ordered.

Saur followed the command, and this time managed to hit Goldeen, knocking it out.

Misty smiled faintly.

"You did good, Goldeen," she consoled as she called the pokemon back to its ball.

She then smirked at me. "Good job, Red. I'm glad that you've finally managed to evade Green and make it here. But I still have one pokemon left, and its no pushover."

I winked. "Bring it on, sweetheart. I can take anything you dish!"

I could see Misty's eyes roll across the pool, but I also detected a flash of red across her face. I guess no one calls her sweetheart that often.

Then, I froze as I heard her call out her next pokemon.

"Go, Gyarados!"

As the blue sea dragon filled the pool, I could swear that I was about to soil myself.

"Mommie," I muttered.

The Gyarados let out a frightening roar.

I swallowed my fear, and turned to Saur.

"Saur, Razor Leaf!"

Saur fired the attack at Gyarados, but to my shock, the Gyarados didn't take much damage.

"What?" I cried in disbelief. "I don't understand! Gyarados is a water type, so why didn't that do anything?"

"Gyarados is only part water type," Misty explained. "The other type is flying."

Flying? Oh crud, no wonder! Flying is strong against grass, making grass attacks ineffective!

"Gyarados, hit them with Dragon Rage!"

Gyarados spat a stream of blue flame at Saur, who took the hit and was down to half his health.

"Now finish him with Bite!"

Saur was down after one scrape against the Gyarados' teeth.

I growled. "Pika, go!"

Pika jumped out of his ball, grinning at his opponent.

Misty became concerned. "Oh no."

"Oh yes."

Since Gyarados was part water/part flying, that gave him resistance to grass type attacks, but at the cost of making him four times as vulnerable to electric attacks. And thankfully, I had the perfect pokemon to exploit this.

"Pika, use Thunderbolt!"

Pika fired the attack into the pool, completely electrocuting the Gyarados. With one final roar, the beast fell into the water, out cold.

Misty smiled as she returned her pokemon to its ball.

"Well done, Red. As my job description entails, here is the Cascade Badge."

She came over to my side of the pool and handed me a badge shaped like a raindrop.

"Thank you," I said. "I need to thank Green to, for helping me train."

I rushed out to do that, but when I got out there, Green was gone.

"Hey, what gives?" I exclaimed.

"I guess he left as soon as you entered the gym," I heard Misty say from behind me. "I guess you should be going too."

Yeah, I guess I should. But the weird thing was, I didn't want to leave yet. At least, not without her. I turned around to face her.

"Come with me."

Misty looked at me in shock. "What?"

I don't know what made me say that, but I felt like I couldn't continue unless she went with me. She was the first one who offered to help me as a trainer, and I know she could definitely help me out in dire situations.

"We make a good team," I said. "And you offer good guidance. If you came with me, you can be like my mentor or something. If I have trouble with a gym or something, you can help me prepare for it, and I can help you whenever you need it."

Misty eyed the ground. "Red, I can't just leave my post as gym leader. How would other trainers get their badge if I'm gone?"

I grinned. "Wait here."

After thirty minutes, I came back to the gym with a boy close to Misty's age, who had blue, wavy hair and a deep tan.

"Misty, this is Marlon," I introduced.

"Yo," greeted Marlon.

"He's training to become the water gym leader in Unova," I explained. "I told him that a good way for him to gain experience would be to fill in for you as Cerulean gym leader while you're gone."

Misty just stared at us in thought.

"I have my own pokemon from this region I can use," Marlon pleaded. "And they're at a reasonable level so trainers won't have too hard of a time."

Misty smiled. "Okay, you can take over while I travel with Red."

I cheered inwardly. I also felt warm and fuzzy inwardly. Wonder why that was.

"Before we go to Vermillion," Misty told me. "There's someone at Cerulean Cape I want you to meet."

"Then lead the way, sweetheart," I gestured.

THWACK!

I rubbed my head as Misty moved forward.

"First rule of traveling with me, stop calling me sweetheart."

"Owwww," I groaned. Talk about tsundere.

**And so, as Red gains a new traveling companion, the two go on the road again! What new challenges will they face? And will Red keep randomly singing Les Mis songs or songs from any other musical. Stay tuned to find out next time, on Pokemon Misadventures! **

**A/N: Sorry if this chapter is kind of long and if there is less humor in it than previous chapters.**

**Read and Review to let me know what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Bill Nye the Pokemon Guy

Okay, I'm not really confident that's his last name, but you try coming up with a better chapter title.

Anyway, Misty told me that this Bill guy was the one who created the Pokemon Storage System, the program I've been using to keep the pokemon I don't have with me in my party. Before we head on to Vermillion City, she wants to stop by his place for a visit. I figured it would be interesting to meet him, plus give him a little thanks for making a trainer's job easier.

What Misty failed to mention, however, was the fact that the bridge leading to the route to Bill's house was _infested_ with trainers.

"Come on, it will be good practice," Misty urged when I pointed this out. "Plus, it's make your pokemon stonger."

I sighed as I approached the first trainer.

"There's no way you'll stand a chance against my bug pokemon!" the trainer exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes as I pulled out Pika's ball.

"If I had a pokenickel for every time I heard that..." I muttered as I sent out Pika.

Needless to say, there were no survivors. Blood was spilt that day, and I relish in every drop of it.

I'm totally kidding. But I did kick the butt of all five trainers on that bridge. Satisfied, I strutted across the rest of the bridge, pretty proud of myself. But of course, Misty was listing off things I can improve on.

"Your posture is one of the most important parts of the battle," she blabbed. "It increases your pokemon's confidence, and since your posture was kind of hunched, the potential of your pokemon decreased..."

It's a good thing she's pretty... Not that that means anything, if I have to remind you.

"Misty, when I said you could be my mentor," I sighed. "I didn't mean for you to nag me about the most minor things, like my posture."

"It's not minor! It shows that you mean buisness! And stand up straight when you're walking."

"Yes, _mom_," I muttered. You know, I feel like I'm missing something. For some reason, I think Brock should be here and make this duo into a trio. I bet in some alternate dimension, that's the case. Huh. I wonder if my alternate dimension self would have the same as me. If not, I hope it's Ash, like the guy from Evil Dead. He's cool. If my alternate self does not live up to the coolness factor of him, I think I would cry. Especially if he never gets together with his version of Misty. I wonder if I have a harem consisting of Misty and three other girls in an alternate universe...

I mean - uh... Hey look, another guy at the end of the bridge! In a trench coat and black newsboy cap. Nothing suspicious about that.

"Congragulations for winning the Nugget Challenge!" the guy said.

"Clearly, you don't know the meaning of the word challenge," I chuckled.

I felt Misty slap the back of my head. Honestly, why does she enjoy hitting me so much?

"Be nice," I heard her hiss.

The guy didn't seem to mind though. "As a reward, I'd like to give you this nugget!"

The guy handed me a small gold nugget, which I heard was worth quite a bit of money if sold in pokemarts. I reached out to take it, but then hesitated.

"What's wrong?"

"My mom told me not to accept things from strangers unless I beat their pokemon senseless first," I remembered.

"But you did," the guy said. "A whole bridge of them."

I shrugged. "Well, if you insist..."

I plucked the gold nugget from the guy's palm and pocketed it.

"By the way," the guy continued. "How would you like to join Team Rocket?"

I froze. "What?"

"You've heard of us, haven't you? We're an organization that uses pokemon-"

"-To commit crimes," Misty interupted. "Yeah, yeah, we know. And the answer is take a hike!"

"Yeah!" I agreed.

"Come on," the guy edged.

"No," we said flatly.

"I'm asking you to join," the guy said a little more aggressively.

"And I'm asking you, good sir, to go perform an action that I can't say if I want to keep this fic rated K+ and quite frankly don't know much about anyway due to being ten, to yourself," I responded.

The guy growled. "Okay then short fry, I'll make you an offer you can't refuse."

"...Did you just quote The Godfather?" Misty asked.

The guy then ripped off his trench coat, revealing a Team Rocket uniform beneath it, and sent out an Ekans and a Zubat. I sent out Pika and Misty sent out Staryu.

After one Thunderbolt and one Bubblebeam, the grunt's pokemon were down.

"...Heh heh," the Rocket grunt chuckled nervously, realizing he was defeated. "Are you sure you don't wanna join?"

Misty and I responded by pushing him into the river, where he was carried downstream.

"You'll regret this you little punks!" the grunt gargled as he was washed away.

"No, no I won't," I said.

So after that little spiel, we continued down the route like nothing happened. After plowing through more trainers like bowling pins, we stopped at a cottage overlooking the cape at the end of the route.

"Well, this is it," Misty said.

The cottage actually looked kind of nice. It had a cyan roof, and was made of rather polished mahogany wood. A sign outside read:

**Bill's House**

Very informative. Anyway, before I knocked on the door, it came to my attention that the door was slightly cracked open.

"Huh," I mused.

I creaked the door slightly and walked in.

"What are you doing?" Misty whispered frantically. "You can't just walk into somebody else's house without their permission!"

I shrugged. "I just did."

Reluctantly, Misty followed. I hit a light switch and looked around. The cottage was only one room. Occupying a good half of it was some weird machine incorporating two cylinders with glass hatches on them, connected to a computer at a table. Also on the table was a partially eaten sandwhich and an empty mug that said World's Greatest Pokemaniac.

"I guess he's out," I concluded.

"No, really?" Misty drawled, sarcasm flowing through her voice. "I never would have guessed."

"Let's go through his stuff," I suggested excitedly.

"No!" Misty argued, shocked. "Why would you do that? This isn't an RPG!"

"I'm just joking," I chuckled.

Misty raised an eyebrow.

"...Mostly."

Then, a shout rang outside.

"HEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPP!"

"What was that?" Misty inquired.

"Let's find out."

We rushed out of the cottage and listened for the screams. They became louder and I realized that it was coming from up above us. I looked up and my jaw dropped.

It was a Fearow, and in it's enormous, clawed talons was what looked like a Rattata.

My heart started pumping quickly. I never fully recovered from the experience in Viridian Forest, so I gained a fear of Spearow and its evolution, despite the fact that said evolution was no where near me during the incident.

"AHHHHHH!"

I jumped behind Misty.

"Make the bad bird go away!" I cried. I may have sounded a bit childish there, but if this pokemon's pre-evolution tried to peck _your_ brains out, you'd hide too.

"Red, what about the Rattata?" Misty asked, annoyed.

"Um... nature is selecting it for termination?" I answered uncertainly.

"Someone please help me!" the voice cried again.

"No..." I muttered.

The _Rattata_ was the one screaming for help. How? Why? Pokemon can't talk! They're not supposed to! Why do _I _have to be the one to always be in unbelievable situations like this? What the heck!

Misty didn't seem as shocked as I was. In fact, she looked like she was realizing something.

"Wait a minute, I recognize that voice..." Misty mused to herself.

No. Nononononononononono. Don't you DARE say what I think you're going to say! I already have difficulty believing a Rattata can talk, but if you so much as IMAGINE the ludicrous scenario that popped into my head...

"That's Bill!" Misty exclaimed.

I fell over for the fourth time that month. When I got back up, I could feel the vein in my head throb.

"That's it," I said, suprisingly calm despite my inner rage. "I'm going to Vermillion, right now."

"Red!" Misty scolded. "We can't leave him without help! What happened to the trainer that immediately darted to help the people of Pewter City and me when my fossil was stolen?"

"You don't understand."

My teeth were gritted. "My Bulbasaur threw me around and gave me an excrutiating wedgie when I first got him. I was nearly killed by a flock of Spearow and hordes of Beedrill. I was arrested for running around Pewter City in a Batman costume. I had to get away from some clown who thought he was a ninja. My rival chased me around for two weeks with his pokemon, only for _you_ to come and attack me from behind. _Soooorrrryyy_ if for once, I don't feel like dealing with something **crazy!**"

I was breathing heavily. Misty looked completely unfazed.

"Are you done?"

"Almost," I answered calmly. "Also, if Bill somehow turned into a Rattata, then it should be able to use one of it's attacks to get out of the Fearow's grasp."

"Help, the Fearow used Disable on my Hyper Fang, and I don't know any other good offensive moves!"

"..."

"..."

"..." I sighed. "Okay, fine."

Misty gave me a triumphant smirk and called out her Starmie.

"Try to get the Rattata safely out of the Fearow's talons," she told it.

Starmie then flew up into the air, chasing after the Fearow. After hitting it with Swift, The Fearow squawked in surprise, dropping Bill the Rattata. However, it managed to catch him safely and dropped him off at our feet.

"Are you okay?" Misty asked in her concerned tone.

"Well, I might need a few weeks of therapy," the rat pokemon said. "But I think I'll be fine."

"How did you get like this?" I asked. Maybe he could turn me into a Dragonite, or a Charizard. Hey, we all wanted to be a pokemon at some point, didn't we?

The Fearow's cry filled the air once again.

"No time to explain," Bill said frantically. "Just get rid of that thing!"

I nodded and sent out Pika.

"You know what to do."

Pika grinned and sent out numerous Thunderbolts after the Fearow. But it was too fast, dodging all the attacks and swiftly turning and spiraling back towards us.

"Out of the way!" I shouted.

We all dived in separate directions as the Fearow swooped down.

THWACK!

I stood to see the Fearow with its beak stuck in the ground. I decided this would be a good opprotunity to catch it and get over my fear. So I threw an empty pokeball at it.

One shake...

Two shakes...

The ball broke and the Fearow came back out, no longer stuck in the ground.

"Dang it!"

Then a lightbulb appeared over my head.

"AH!" I grabbed the lightbulb and chucked it away. I hated it when that happens. It always makes my head feel uncomfortably hot.

Wait. Now I have an idea!

"Pika, return!" I called as I got Pika back into his ball.

"Red, what are you doing?" Misty shouted.

"Pikachu has a type advantage!" Bill called out in a paniked tone. "Why would you call it back?"

"Trust me!" I replied. "Go, Poli!"

In a flash, Poli was in front of me and glaring up at the opposing Fearow.

"Poli, use Mist!"

"Poliwhirl!"

As an icy fog started surrounding my pokemon and I, another shout from Bill rang out.

"Wait a minute! Poliwhirl can't learn Mist unless inherited through breeding!"

"So?"

"Breeding hasn't been introduced in these versions yet!"

Oh. Well, my Poliwhirl can defy the laws of physics. Cool.

Anyway, now that Fearow was unable to see us, I put my plan into action. I looked for an opening in the mist, hoping that I could get the bird's attention. Once I found a gap, I waved at the shadow of the Fearow.

"Hey, uh, bird brain!"

The Fearow ignored me. I don't really blame it, that was a pretty bad insult. So I tried a different one.

"Well then, I'll just go ahead and finish those Spearow eggs I cooked this morning. They're finger lickin' good!"

The Fearow stopped in midair and turned its beak towards me with a murderous look. It then flew straight at me, its beak ready to impale me and all my major organs. But sadly, my friend, you have activated my trap card.

"Poli, now!"

Poli popped in front of me and fired an Ice Beam at the bird. The attack hit, and the Fearow crashed to the ground, now frozen solid.

"Okay, let's try this again."

I pulled out another pokeball and threw it at the pokemon. It went in.

One.

Two.

Three.

Click!

Bumbadabumbumbadadadadadada! I caught a Fearow! And I overcame my fear that I was specifically written to have for this chapter and this chapter only! Suck it, shoehorned character flaws!

"That was amazing Red!"

I watched as Misty and the Bill Rattata thing run towards me. Bill looked slightly peeved however.

"That's all fine and well, but I'd appreciate it if you guys helped me get back into human form," he said.

"No problem," I said as Misty and I followed him back to the cottage.

After a lengthy explanation about a Pokemon Transporter mishap or something else that I don't really care narrating about since it'll never show up again, Bill was back to his normal, curly haired self.

"Thanks ya'll," he exclaimed cheerfully. "Since you two were so helpful-"

"Um, excuse me?" I interupted. "_Us_ two? I believe _I_ was the one who captured the Fearow while Misty sat on the sidelines."

"What?!" Misty shrieked. "It just so happens that _I _was the one who got Bill to safety during your battle, and may I also note that you wouldn't have done _anything _to help if I didn't convince you otherwise?"

"Hey, I have enough on my plate without a transformed human-pokemon-thing to top it off!"

"Why are you being so out of character?"

"What's out of character about wanting to avoid weirdness?"

As Misty and I continued to argue, Bill cleared his throat.

"Um, anyway, I want to give you two these passes for a party on the S.S. Anne..."

As soon as Misty heard that, she swiped the passes out of Bill's hand, her face filled to the brim with excitement.

"Wow!" she squealed. "I always wanted to go on the S.S. Anne! Red, this is so exciting!"

Now that she mentioned it, a cruise ship did sound rather nice. Relaxing out at sea, a never ending buffet, bikini clad girls as far as the eye can see...

"Where does this ship make port?" I ask.

"Vermillion City," Bill answered. "But those passes can only be used before it takes off for a year, so you need to be there in two days in order to use them."

"That's convienient," I grinned. "Vermillion's where I need to get my next badge."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Misty said, jumping up and down, then pulling me by the arm out of Bill's cottage. "If it's in two days, we need to go now!"

I waved to Bill as Misty dragged me. "See ya later man!"

Bill waved. "Feel free to use my storage system anytime, and let me know if you ever need the transporter!"

**And so, Red and Misty continue on to Vermillion City! What waits for our hero and his (ahem) "friend" aboard the S.S. Anne? Will the next gym be the toughest one yet? Find out next time on Pokemon Misadventures! **

**A/N: Sorry this one took a little while to finish. What, with school starting up again and my other stories, I left this one hanging. However, I hope this chapter will satisfy those still following and reading this story. And to those people who are, thank you and keep it up! **

**Also... I'm a Pokeshipper and Mangapokeshipper, in case that wasn't obvious. Cue the angry hordes of Special and Lucky shippers!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven: Con Art is the Best Kind of Art

I have completely lost faith in humanity.

This is the first time in years that I actually cried. Genuine tears of sadness and grief. The salty drops of recycled water or wherever tear drops come from pour down my face as I cry out to the heavens in anguish, with only my precious pokémon to comfort me.

"Why?!" I shouted. "Why, why, whywhywhywhywhy?"

"Pika?" Pika cooed softly.

"How could they do this?" I cried. "How could people do something so monstrous like this?"

I could hear Misty's uncaring voice from behind me.

"Red, you're blowing this out of proportion again."

I turned to her, tears still flowing and getting bigger by the second.

"H-how could you s-say that?" I sniveled.

I then pointed to the window of the bike shop we were standing in front of. "How could you just stand there, while these corporate scumbags are trying to rob the good people of this city who only want a bike? How could those heartless demons charge one million pokedollars?"

I turned back to press my face against the glass window, admiring the cherry red, state of the art bicycle on display. "What has this world come to?"

"You do realize that the exchange rate for a million pokedollars is just fifty regular dollars, right?"

My jaw dropped at hearing that. "Oh my Arceus, it's even more expensive than I thought!"

In the reflection of the window, I watched as Misty slapped her own forehead.

"I swear, you get dumber with each progressive chapter." She muttered.

I love pretending to be stupid. Especially when it's around Misty. That always manages to cheer me up when the world betrays me like this.

One million pokedollars. No, I will not let it go.

"Well you can't sit here and mope all day, we need to get to Vermillion so we can get on that cruise," Misty urged.

I turned and followed Misty to the southern exit of the city.

"And get my third gym badge, right?"

"Red, quit thinking about trivial things such as badges and focus on the bigger picture. Like the cruise."

I'm beginning to think Misty has her priorities messed up. Like the fact that they're not in line with mine. I mean sure, a cruise sounds nice, but if we delay any longer, Green will probably get all his badges before me and win the League before I even step foot in Victory Road.

So we continued on to Vermillion. We camped out at night and fought trainers in the day. I still haven't caught any new pokémon besides Saur, Poli, and Pika, but like I explained previously, I'm just waiting until I find one that I'm sure would make a great addition. After a couple of nights on the road, Misty and I made it to the gates of Vermillion, with the harbor straight ahead.

"Well, we still have a little time to kill before we need to be on the cruise," Misty said, staring at the town clock. "Hand me your pokémon and I'll go heal them up for you."

I grinned. "Sounds fair to me. I'm gonna go take a look at the gym and see what it's like."

Misty smiled as well. "Ok, see you in a few minutes."

I watched as she walked off to the pokémon center. The water gym leader's really starting to grow on me. I mean, sure sometimes she can be nagging and quick tempered, like all women…

**SLAP! **

(Note to self: Don't criticize women, they make up a good portion of your readers and fellow writers. Otherwise, you'll get thousands of backhand slaps all at once.)

…But she's fun to be around and knows what she's doing when it comes to pokémon. You know, I think I might soon be able to admit that I've developed-

"Well hello there, handsome."

Well, that's something I never thought I'd hear in my lifetime.

I turned to look for the voice to see that it came from a girl.

A very attractive girl.

A SMOKING HOT girl.

This chick had auburn hair, entrancing blue eyes, and a seductive smirk on her face. A black dress outlined her shapely form (is it even possible for a girl close to my age to look like this?), and cut off at the knees, exposing some rather nice legs.

I looked around to check if she was talking to someone else first.

"Me?" I asked, pointing to myself.

The girl rolled her eyes, but didn't lose her smile. "Of course. Do you see any other strong, good looking trainers around here?"

Thank you!

I mean, seriously, why can't more girls be like this? Do they realize how hard it is for us guys to actually gain courage to walk up to them, confidently and having an idea as to what to say? Why can't THEY be the ones to approach us? What, do they think that just because we're guys we have to do everything ourselves?

I hate double standards.

I put on a confident grin. "Well, what can I do for you Miss?"

The girl shuffled her feet.

"Well, you see…"

She pulled out a box from hammerspace.

"I'm trying to raise money for the Pokémon Fan Club," she explained. "And I figured the best way I can do that is by selling boxes of Pokémon Cereal. Would you like to buy a box or two?"

I stared at the box. A Pikachu was on the box, right next to a bowl filled with x-shaped cereal and marshmallows in the shape of various pokémon such as Ditto, Charmander, and so forth. Childhood memories started flowing back to me as I remembered when I had to practically get on my knees and beg my mom to get this cereal every time she went to the grocery store.

My stomach then rumbled. I guess a little mid-morning snack wouldn't hurt.

"Okay, I'll take a box."

The girl smiled. "Alright, so that's 10 pokedollars for four boxes."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh, no, I only want one please."

The girl's smile faltered. Oh no. My one weakness: Seeing a girl get all sad. Well, that and my curse of ending up in odd scenarios, but still.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said sadly. "It's just 10 pokedollars is all I need left to reach my goal. But if all you want is one box, I guess I can't force you to buy more…"

"No, wait!" I said quickly, pulling out 10 pokedollars from my pocket. "I'll be more than happy to buy four boxes."

Then I got tackled into a massive hug.

"Oh thank you!" she exclaimed excitedly. "You don't know how happy this makes me!"

I can say the same thing about my "little Diglet" at this moment…

**SMACK!**

I know, I know, K+, ten years old, yadayadayada. Seriously though, you'd think that most people who come to this site are old enough to know that a "little Diglet" means pe-

**Omniscient Editor raises hand again**

Ok, ok! Sheesh, how come standards are so strict these days?

**Omniscient Editor lowers hand**

…So anyway, the girl let go of me after a moment, and shoved the boxes of cereal into my arms.

"You've helped a lot," said the girl. "I don't know how I can thank you."

I grinned. "Maybe a name and phone number, so I can take you to a movie sometime?"

What? There's always the chance that Misty could reject me… if I liked her, that is. Am I really supposed to ignore a pretty girl when they provide an opportunity like this? It doesn't hurt to have someone else to turn to when your heart is broken.

The girl winked. "Sure thing."

She then pulled out a slip of paper and handed it to me. On it was written:

_Blue 234-567-1039 3_

"Just so you know, I don't make guys follow the three day rule," she said cheerfully. "Catch ya later, hun!"

As she walked away, I felt pretty proud of myself. Who knew I had this much luck with the ladies?

"Hey, Red."

I turned to see Misty return, my pokeballs in her outstretched hands.

"Hey," I replied. "Did my boys give you any trouble?"

"Well, Pika's forbidden to go back to that particular Pokémon Center," Misty explained with a bemused expression. "Something about 'inappropriate conduct' when being handled by the nurse."

I laughed. "That's Pika alright."

Misty then noticed the boxes of cereal in my arms. "Where'd you get those?"

"I bought them from a girl doing a fundraiser for the Pokémon Fan Club," I explained.

"That's nice of you," Misty said with a smile.

Her smile faded as she began to look like she was remembering something.

"Oh, right, Professor Oak sent this," she said, pulling out a sheet of paper. "They managed to match the DNA found in the lab to the thief, and he sent a picture of her."

I raised an eyebrow. Her?

I took the paper and I felt my jaw drop.

"No freaking way," I muttered.

It was the girl who sold me the cereal, the one who gave me her number, Blue. The picture was of her in a prison lineup, winking as she held up her prison number.

I read off the list of crimes the girl had committed:

_Robbery_

_Forgery_

_Impersonation_

_Selling of counterfeit/fraudulent goods_

_Multiple counts of Copyright Infringement on Youtube_

Wait. Selling of counterfeit goods?

I ripped open one of the boxes of cereal, and poured the contents onto the ground.

It wasn't Pokémon Cereal. It was Raisin Bran.

"Son of a Bellsprout!" I shouted.

"What's wrong Red?" Misty asked, concerned.

"I've been conned, that's what's wrong!" I growled. "She went to the docks, come on!"

So we ran as fast as we could to the docks. I stopped and scanned my surroundings, until I found her boarding the S.S. Anne. So Misty and I ran over there, but the sailor at the bottom of the ramp stopped us.

"Tickets please," he said.

"Of course," I assured.

I reached into my pockets to get the tickets.

They weren't there.

I chuckled nervously. "One moment, please."

I checked my back pockets. They weren't there. No matter, I'll just check my backpack. They weren't there either. Okay, calm down Red. Just close your eyes and keep your hands in your pockets. When I open them, the tickets will be right- they're not there.

I don't get it, where could they have…

Then, I remembered.

_Blue hugged me. _

"That she-snake," I muttered. "She stole our tickets!"

"What?" Misty was surprised. "How?"

"Um…" I blushed. This is awkward.

Misty's eyebrows started to burrow.

"…She kind of hugged me," I confessed.

"WHAT?!"

I was now cowering in front of a furious Misty.

"YOU LET THAT TRAMP HUG YOU?"

"Well, in my defense, when a girl offers a guy a hug, or any kind of physical contact, it's hard for them to refuse," I reasoned.

"SO IT'S NOT ENOUGH THAT YOU PROVIDED HER WITH AN OPPROTUNITY TO STEAL FROM US, BUT YOU ENJOYED IT TOO?!"

"Hey, I'm a guy," I complained. "Pretty girls are my kryptonite."

Misty fumed and crossed her arms.

"Boys," she muttered venomously.

"Oh, come on!" I shouted. "How do I know you wouldn't have done the same thing if our roles were reversed, and you we approached by an attractive _male_ con artist? Or female. You never know."

My question was met with a fist beating into the top of my skull.

"That's not the point!" she shouted. "You let the girl who stole the Squirtle from Professor Oak steal some of our money and our tickets to the cruise, and now she's getting away!"

I growled as I approached the sailor again.

"Can we please get on the cruise?" I pleaded.

"No ticket, no boarding," the sailor grunted.

I then called Pika out of his pokeball.

"Would you do it for him?" I said. "For this adorable face?"

Pika got the hint and put on the cutesiest face he could manage, which wasn't really that hard.

"Pikachu," he cooed softly.

The sailor wasn't impressed.

I was becoming desperate. So I waved my hand.

"You don't need to see our tickets," I said in a mystic tone.

The sailor rolled his eyes. "That joke is so overdone it hurts."

"You can go about your business," I continued. I knew this wasn't going to work, but I had nothing else to do.

"Kid, just turn around," the sailor sighed. "You're embarrassing yourself."

I pouted. Yes, pouted. It's not something I'm proud to admitting, but I pouted like I was five years younger than I was supposed to be. I guess I'm gonna have to hope that the professor takes bad news well.

"It's okay sailor, they're with me."

I rolled my eyes as I turned to see Green, my eternal rival, walk up the ramp, showing his ticket to the sailor.

"It says here that I'm allowed to take up to two guests with me to this party," he said. "So I wish to bring these two as my guests, if that is okay."

The guard scanned the invitation and smiled at Green.

"I wish you a good time, Mr. Oak," the sailor nodded.

Mr. Oak?

Green nodded back and walked up into the cruise, Misty and I following him.

"That's the second time you've helped us out," Misty said.

I watched Green shrug. "Just doing my civic duty, that's all."

I scoffed. "Civic duty?"

Misty glared at me while Green ignored me. Then to my surprise, Misty ran up next to Green and put her arms around his.

"At least there's one guy here that I can count on," she said.

Then she kissed Green on the cheek.

I felt anger boiling up inside myself, while Green himself was looking dumbfounded.

"Um…" He clearly didn't know how to react to that.

Good.

I pulled my cap down further and walked past the two, shoving Green as I went.

"Let's just find the Squirtle thief and be on our way," I said roughly.

It took us a while to find the dining hall, where the main party was supposed to be, but eventually the three of us found it. I was filled to the brim with party goers, either showing off their prized pokémon to each other or laughing over drinks. A giant gold, silver, and crystal chandelier hung from the sky high ceiling.

"Alright, let's split up," I told Misty and Green. "If one of us manages to find her, then we send out one of our pokémon to search each other out and come to the other's aid."

"Sounds good to me," Green said.

"Same here," Misty agreed.

So we all went in separate directions. As I shuffled through the crowd, I couldn't help but think about how clingy Misty was being with Green a few minutes ago. What was the deal with that? Not that I'm jealous or anything, but is this her version of payback for me getting suckered by Blue? Flirting with my rival? Cause it's totally not working. I mean, sure now I want Pika to shock him with 1.21 jigawatts of electricity even more than I previously did, but I'm not jealous.

Nope.

Not at all.

…

"Okay, fine! I have a crush on Misty! Happy?"

I realized I said that out loud, because now the people in the crowd were turning to me with curious glances. One wearing a shirt labeled _Specialshipping 4Ever_ was glaring menacingly at me. I quietly walked to the punch table and fixed myself a glass.

Just then, the doors burst open, and I sighed as I turned to see Team Rocket grunts led by a muscular man wearing a ski mask calling out various pokémon and tearing the place apart. Everyone started to panic until the masked man spoke up.

"Alright you screwheads, listen up! Team Rocket has taken over the S.S. Anne!"

His voice was slightly muffled by the mask, but it sounded harsh and commanding nevertheless, almost like a military sergeant.

"Now all we want you guys to do is just stay in here, and do everything we say. If any of you try to play the hero…"

He pulled out a cylinder with a red button at the top.

"Well, you get the point."

I banged my head on the table. Great, now in addition to finding Blue to get the Squirtle and my money back, but now I have to rescue these hostages and prevent Team Rocket from blowing up the cruise.

Arceus, why do you hate me so much?

**A/N: Man, Red just cannot catch a break, can he? **

**I meant to post this chapter yesterday to coincide with the release of Pokémon X and Y, but one thing happened after another, so it's a day late. Oh well, better a day late than a month late, right? **

**Also, got the Y version yesterday, freaking awesome! Chose Froakie and Charmander as my starters, and just got to the town with the second gym. Can't wait to explore more of Kalos! **

**And as the misadventure continues, my gratitude for your support does as well. I'll try to maintain a schedule so my updates don't seem sporadic. Happy Reading! **


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